Hard Times
by King in Yellow
Summary: The lives of both Shego and Kim take an odd twist after training at the Jusenkyo. Sort of Kigo, but Kim is certainly not herself. Inspired by the caption work of Dark Angel: Version 4.0. Has a sequel, Bleak House, if you want more. NOT B.E. UNIVERSE.
1. Chapter 1  In Training

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

The last story planned for the original Best Enemies cycle is mostly done. Unfortunately, it is the easy 90 which is finished. The hard 10 is such a pain in the rear I took a break after seeing a couple caption comics by Dark Angel: Version 4.0. I'm trying something a little different this time -- and discovered I really have trouble with lemon filling that other people can read. But I think this really deserves the M.

**Chapter 1 - In Training**

"If she were in this country she could probably slap a restraining order on you," Wade warned over the Kimmunicator.

"Be serious Wade."

"I am serious, Kim. Well, sort of. We don't know that she's committing any crimes in China."

"But she's still wanted in, like eleven countries around the world. Right?"

"She is. However, you don't usually go looking for trouble. Why are you trying to track her down?"

"I've got a long weekend off at school --"

"And you'd rather spend your free time with her than anyone else you could think of?"

"Is the camera on the Kimmunicator picking up the way I'm glaring at you? Shego is my worst enemy. Most of those guys I go up against are just hopeless. She beats me as often as I beat her. I want to know what she's doing. I don't trust her."

"So you want to nip any problem in the bud?"

"Exactly!"

"Make sure she doesn't nip your bud."

"Wade! Be serious."

Wade sighed, "Okay, Kim, but remember -- I warned you against this trip.

---

"Here are the coordinates you requested, Miss Possible."

"Thank you for the lift, Mr. Peabody."

"It was the least I could do after you saved Sherman and me from that temporal loop."

"No big, I think anyone could have reversed the polarity on the flux capacitor and gotten you out. I still think we should have taken you to a medical specialist."

"That is quite all right, Miss Possible. You need to eject now." As her seat ejected from the plane Mr. Peabody mused,_ "Poor child lacks imagination. She can't even consider the possibility I am supposed to look like this."_

---

Kim watched the GPS as she parachuted down. The area where Shego had last been confirmed was dotted with hundreds of small bodies of water. They were too small to be considered lakes, and in her mind Kim attached the term springs to them.

The parachutist attracted the attention of those on the ground, and one gi-clad figure smiled as she identified the redhead and moved towards the spot where she thought Kim would land.

"Can't live without me, can you Princess?" Shego smirked.

Kim released her harness two feet above the ground -- then tucked and rolled into a fighting stance as she hit.

"You're quite the spoiled brat," Shego observed as Kim glared at her. "Always expecting someone else to pick up after you." She sat down on the ground. "I'm just going to watch while you gather up your 'chute." Kim maintained her defensive posture. "Or, I can just sit here and see how long you're willing to hold that stupid pose."

After several tense minutes Kim began to feel foolish and started to stuff her parachute back into its bag while Shego rolled on the ground laughing at her.

Her face red with humiliation, but the parachute stowed properly away, Kim turned to face Shego. "Okay, what are you up to?"

Her pale foe stared back in amazement; "You were so hot to come running after me you didn't even check to see where I was? Little Miss Perfect must really want me. It's so nice to feel loved."

"Damn it, Shego, stop your teasing."

"Oh, Princess, you don't mean that. If I stopped flirting you wouldn't come and visit me half-way round the world."

Kim was so mad Shego expected her to attack first. Instead she pulled her Kimmunicator out of a cargo pocket and barked, "Wade, where am I?"

"Just where I told you you would be -- if you had been listening," the genius snapped. "At the Jhusenkuo, AKA The Training Ground of the Accursed Springs."

Shego moved beside Kim into the field of the Kimmunicator's camera and waved to Wade. "I prefer to say Jusenkyo."

"Either one is fine," Wade explained patiently. "There are several systems for transliterating Asian characters into the Roman alphabet."

"Great, I'm caught between the smug and the sarcastic," Kim complained and turned off the Kimmunicator and slipped it back into a cargo pocket. "So you're here to train."

"Well, Doh! That's usually why you come to a training ground. You've really never heard of this place. Or weren't you paying attention in martial arts class that day?"

"Please, Shego. It was a long flight and my host was a nice guy -- but he smelled like a dog. What is this Jusenkyo?"

"Nastiest training ground in the world. Only the best come here -- or the dumbest."

Kim stared around her at the springs and watched a small kitten pursue a duck with glasses. "Or maybe the best AND dumbest."

Shego ignored the dig. "There are horrors here that would freeze a heart of stone," She intoned in a spooky voice. "Now call your buddy back and ask nicely if he can get you a ride home. I've got a couple more days off and plan to keep on training."

Kim stretched. "It's a long trip. I could use a workout. Maybe I'll exercise a little before I go. I want to keep my eye on you."

"If I knew you were going to have your eye on me I'd have worn something sexier. Oh, but I can tell you this -- under my gi I'm not wearing any panties."

Kim reached back into her pocket; she needed to ask Wade for a ride. Shego seemed to understand the gesture. "Tell you what, Princess. We can declare a Snowman Hank day and go easy on each other if you want."

"Seriously?"

"Hey, I could use a partner for some sparring. I'm not breaking any laws here and if you start a serious fight here they may arrest you for disturbing the peace."

Kim thought about the proposition. She wasn't sure she could trust Shego to keep the terms of the truce, but an immediate flight home would have been an admission she wasted her time in coming…

The weather was cool, but given the intensity of the training it kept them comfortable. "As long as we keep it on a physical level and don't have to talk with each other…" Kim thought. She found her own thoughts troubling and tried to focus on something other than the lithe woman with whom she was working out.

The sun was starting to go down behind the mountains when Shego said, "Take a break, Kim. I'm ready to make my run."

"Your run?"

"Yeah, see those bamboo poles? The run is the most dangerous part of the Jusenkyo. I've done it every day this trip. My first two visits here I didn't even try. You aren't ready for it."

"If you can do it, I can do it."

"It's not a game, Kim. Only the dumb try it if they aren't ready."

"I'm one of the best. I don't care that you chickened out the first times you came. I can handle it."

"Please, just sit here and wait," Shego said seriously.

Part way through the run Shego thought she heard someone else running the tops of the poles. She was afraid that Kim's competitive nature had kicked in and the redhead was trying to follow her. But the pale woman understood Jusenkyo's dangers and didn't let the sounds distract her -- until she heard the scream and splash. Shego did a flip an Olympic athlete would have envied as she landed on solid earth.

"Kim, where are you? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. But the water's cold." Kim's voice sounded different. And then the screaming started.

Shego ran in the direction of the noise.

A young man in Kim's clothes stood waist deep in the cold water, holding his chest. "Shego," he sobbed, "What happened?"

"Damn it, I warned you Kim. Get out of there. I'm not going in after you."

The red haired youth waded towards the shore, "My clothes don't fit." He had to unbutton and unzip the cargo pants, which were too small for him to move. Loosening the cargo pants, however, led to another discovery "OHMYGAWD! What is that?"

Kim stood at the side of the spring, shivering with cold and in shock at no longer being the woman she once was. "You fell in the Nannichuan," Shego tried to explain. "It could have been worse."

"What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?" Kim kept repeating.

"If we can get you some warm water it will provide a temporary fix."

"Where are you staying? Is there hot water?"

"I'm at the Jusenkyo guesthouse. Where are you staying?"

"I didn't make reservations. Do they take MasterCard?"

"You are really clueless, you know that? The guesthouse is pre-Chinese Revolution. They don't have a water heater, and they don't take plastic. Maybe we can get them to build a fire and heat up a kettle for you."

"Please, Shego. Can I borrow some cash? I'm freezing."

"The guest house has four rooms, and the other three are filled with a crazy group from Japan who are searching for the spring you just fell in. Some joker keeps hiding the sign. You can come to my room or you can freeze to death as the temperature goes down. Your choice." There was a long silence. "Well," Shego demanded.

"I'm thinking."

---

Author's Note: I'm assuming almost everyone recognizes the Jhusenkuo from Ranma 1/2, but am pointing to Rumiko Takahashi as the creator in case any aliens from another planet might be reading this.


	2. Chapter 2  In Cold Water

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**Chapter 2 - In Cold Water**

"Take off the wet clothes."

"What!"

"Look, Kim, I've got four brothers. I used to take baths with the older ones. I changed diapers on the younger ones. You don't have anything I haven't seen before. We have to get you dry and we can't do that while you're in those wet things."

Kim reluctantly pulled off his/her top and tossed it to Shego, who took it into the bathroom. "You were lucky I had the first reservation. This is the only room with a private bath."

"But no hot water?"

"Nope, just like I said. Now, pull off the pants." Shego wrung out the black midriff baring top and hung it up, then went back into the small room with the two available towels.

Shego handed Kim a towel and started to dry the redhead's back.

"I think the towels are pre-Chinese Revolution also," Kim complained.

"Probably. But it's a training ground -- not a spa." They both applied the towels briskly, to return circulation to the chilled Kim. Shego giggled, "I took baths with Mego when I was four and he was six, and changed diapers on the Wegos. I have to tell you Kim, yours is a lot bigger."

"Please, Shego, is there anything I can wear?"

"I don't know Kim. I think my gis are too small for you… Promise not to laugh?"

"Promise not to laugh at what?"

"At my night shirt -- it's the biggest thing I have."

"I promise."

Kim had expected green or black. But this was like an over-sized pink t-shirt with a picture of Betty Boop and her dog Pudgy on it. It hung almost to her knees and s/he was too grateful to even consider laughter.

"What are you doing," Kim gasped.

"I'm taking off my gi. I've been working out all day and it's all sweaty. The bad news is that you have my longest shirt, so I'm going to have to find something else to sleep in." The t-shirt Shego found was far too short for Kim to be comfortable.

"It's not polite to stare."

"Shego, you're green down there."

"Probably moss. It doesn't get used often enough."

"Shego!"

"Seriously, Kim. The comet turned my hair green. I dye it black, well the hair on my head anyway, to be less conspicuous. Hego's hair would be blue if he didn't dye it too."

---

"You really don't have anything longer?"

"Trust me Kim, if I had it, I'd be wearing it."

"Then, could you sit with your legs together or something? You're really making me uncomfortable."

Shego looked over at the little tent on the front of the Betty Boop nightshirt. "Now there's another voice heard from," she giggled. "It looks like someone doesn't mind seeing my legs spread apart." Shego lay on her back and raised her legs into the air, laughing at Kim's obvious discomfort.

"Please, stop it," the redhead begged.

"Then let me see yours."

"What?"

"Come on, Kim. It's not really you. Tomorrow you take a fast dunk in the Nyannichuan and get restored to your normal self. I want to see what the Nannichuan can do to a girl."

"No."

"Then take off my clothes and get out of my room," Shego said coldly

"Okay," Kim grumbled.

Shego grinned and flopped down on her stomach beside Kim, her face about a foot away from the addition to the former young woman. Kim lifted the nightshirt and they both stared at the offending member, now swollen much larger than when it had been shriveled up from the cold water.

"What's making it do that?"

"I am," Shego chuckled. "Don't get so upset Kim. You're in a guy's body now and it works differently than your old body. Guys get turned on when they look at a hot woman. Somebody here thinks I'm a hot woman."

"No I don't"

"Oh, come on, Kim. That lie detector between your legs is telling me the truth. I won't hold it against you. Unless you want me to hold it… Well, do you?"

Kim shook her head no.

"You might not like me when you're yourself. But the Kim you are now is a guy. Guys keep their brains in their pants."

Kim giggled, "Or at least, we'd all be better off if they kept their brains in their pants -- they get in trouble when they take them out."

Shego laughed with Kim. "Yes, that's it exactly. So if Little Kim here likes me I won't take it as a statement from that red-haired fireball I've been fighting for the last couple years. You've got a guy's brain now -- or what they think is a brain. So, can you say I look hot with words too?"

It came out easier than Kim expected, "God, Shego, you always look hot."

"See, that wasn't so hard now, was it?"

"How come this looks different from Ron's?"

"And when did you see Ron's?"

"When you switched our brains, remember?"

"Did I hear that Ron was Jewish?"

"Yes."

"Well, that's your answer. Ron was circumcised. Little Kim here is uncut."

Shego reached out her hand, and Kim grabbed her wrist. "Stop that!"

"No fair, why should you be the only one who gets to play with your new toy? I promise not to hurt it."

Too curious to refuse Shego's request Kim released Shego's hand. Gently, but firmly, Shego began pumping her hand up and down on Kim's shaft. Kim's erection was stiffening quickly and Shego's ministrations were forcing the head out from its hiding place in the foreskin. "See, Kim. Is that what you were looking for?"

But Kim's eyes were closed and the redhead had a smile of contentment. "Do you like that," Shego demanded.

Kim nodded happily.

"Say it, Kim. I want to hear it."

"That feels great, Shego. It's like nothing I've ever felt before."

"I don't imagine you have. I haven't either. Is it good, Kim? Do you like the feel of what I'm doing to do you? Remember, you don't have to be a good and virtuous girl now. You're a dirty-minded guy getting a handjob. Let your prick talk -- that's why they call it a prick. What do you think? What does Little Kim think?"

"It feels wonderful, Shego. Thank you."

"Do you want me to kiss it?"

"WHAT?"

"Do you want me to lean over and kiss it? Do you want to feel my lips on the head of that bad boy? Do you want to look down on my head, bobbing up and down on you as I suck you off? Do you want to find out if I spit or swallow?"

Kim's eyes were wide, "Please, Shego, Please!" she begged.

Shego rolled away from Kim and laughed. "I don't give head on the first date. Unless you buy me dinner and get me drunk first."

Kim stared down at the throbbing, purple erection. "I'm going to explode," she moaned.

"You are such a baby. But maybe I should help you out. I hear guys suffer from something called blue balls if they can't get any relief. They say it really, really hurts. Or maybe that's just a story they tell when they're begging us for some. I guess it would be a violation of our truce if I left you in pain."

Shego went to her medicine kit in the bathroom and returned with a small bottle of baby oil. "You just lean back now and let me take care of you," she told Kim. She poured a little of the oil on Kim's member, then rubbed it up and down with her hand. She stood up, straddling Kim, then slowly lowered herself down. One hand found Little Kim and she guided the redhead's cock inside her and slowly sank down the entire length of the shaft.

"Is that good?"

Kim simply moaned.

"I'm going to take that as a yes." Shego kept the pace deliberately slow as she built herself towards a climax. She wasn't sure how long Kim could last.

"Do I need to pull out," Kim gasped.

"I don't think so," Shego went away from the up and down motion into a little grinding motion, she was close. "I should be three kinds of safe. I doubt the Nannichuan could leave you able to produce real sperm -- and doubt you've had time to produce much even if it did. Second, it's the safe time of the month for me. And third, the comet changed my metabolism enough I doubt I can get pregnant anyway."

Shego wasn't sure Kim was listening to a word she said. Kim's eyes were closed and the redhead was moaning, "Shego, Oh! Shego."

Shego closed her own eyes and ground away on the thickness filling her, "Suck my nipples," she gasped. "Suck them, Kim." She shoved her tits in Kim's face and Kim caught a green nipple and sucked as Shego began grinding even harder.

They exploded together, Kim grabbing Shego's ass and holding on tight and the redhead's cock erupted in the pale woman. As their breathing returned to normal Shego congratulated herself on an exquisite piece of timing.

---

"Shego, wake up."

"What time is it?" the dark haired woman asked in a tired voice.

"My watch says two. I have a problem. Little Kim is all hard again."

"And what do you want me to do about it, Princess?"

"Can you help me again?"

"Kim, it's two in the morning."

"I don't want that blue balls thing."

"Look I'll tell you what. Give me a little foreplay and maybe I'll get in the mood."

"Foreplay?"

"Yeah, what does a boy do with you before you make love."

"Uh, I'm a virgin."

"Not after last night. Okay. Let's play fantasy. Have you ever wanted someone to make love to you?"

"I think so," Kim whispered.

"Imagine you're alone with that person in a room. It's just you and the one you want. There's no mom and dad down the hall. You're on the other side of the world from everyone you know. That person wants to make love to you. You want that person to make love to you. Let me feel what you would want that person to do for you. Let me know with your lips, your fingers, your tongue… Show me how you want someone to treat you."

"Not so hard," Shego gasped a few minutes later. "I want it more gently."

Even later Kim looked up from the redhead's position between Shego's legs. "How was that?"

Shego's eyes were closed and she was gasping for breath. "Oh, yeah. You know where all the nerve endings are on a woman. How do I taste?"

"I don't know what to compare it with. I've never, uh, done that before."

"Just tell me I taste great. You did great for the first time, but you're a Possible. Maybe I can return the favor when you're back to normal."

"Shego, please, can I have some fun?"

"Yeah, but I'm not getting on top. I can't move. You get on top and bang away. You've got me wet enough."

Kim kissed her way up Shego's body. She had a little trouble positioning Little Kim, but Shego reached down and helped guide the new appendage into her vagina. Then Shego stretched her long legs up and hooked them over Kim's back as Kim began work herself into Shego. "Not too hard at first, Shego pleaded. "I've never been fucked by a girl with a cock as big as yours."

Kim started slowly and carefully, but as Shego's box heated up and grew more slippery Kim lost control and started to pound away, harder and faster into the pale woman. Shego's screams and moans woke up everyone else in the guesthouse, but she didn't give a damn. She'd never had multiple orgasms like this in her life. Kim groaned and slammed into her, going stiff as she experienced her own pleasure and shot another load into Shego.

Kim collapsed on top of Shego and their lips met. "Oh, God, that was incredible." Kim said between kisses.

Shego gasped and said nothing for a minute, then threw her arms around Kim's neck and sent her tongue in to explore for the redhead's tonsils. She finally broke the embrace. "Party-time is over. You have to pull out so I can stagger to the bathroom and clean up so I can get back to sleep."

Shego made a mental note before drifting back to sleep,_ "She wants her foreplay a little rougher than I do -- and she makes love with a lot of enthusiasm. I'll never let her wear a big strap-on."_

---

They slept late in the morning, exhausted from their late night and early morning lovemaking. When Kim awoke Shego was already awake and moving around the room, gathering her possessions and organizing them for packing.

"Going back today?"

"I'd better head back after we get you back to normal. First, I can't train any more -- you left me too sore last night to even put my legs together. Second, you need to get home and I'll give you a ride. And third, I think the management will probably be asking us to leave after this morning's behavior."

Kim stretched out in bed, his/her hands behind his/her head, and watched Shego as she moved around the room. Shego was still wearing the t-shirt too short for proper coverage. It barely covered the pale woman's rear, and every movement she made as she organized, every time she bent over, Kim got a fast glimpse of her ass. Last night Kim had tried to look away, but this morning the redhead just watched and grinned at the remembrance of their two love sessions.

Watching the pale woman move around while remembering their lovemaking insured they got started late. Shego was bent over the old cast iron sink with its single cold-water spigot, washing her face and brushing her teeth when Kim came up behind her. Shego grinned into the mirror as Kim raised the short t-shirt even higher and slid hands over the pale woman's rear.

"Does anyone tell you what a great ass you have?"

"Not nearly often enough."

Shego held on tight to the sink. Her knees were rubbery as Kim reminded her that the redhead knew the best ways to reduce an opponent to jelly by use of a tongue. "Stay bent over, just like that, it puts you on a perfect level," Kim told her. Little Kim was up, rubbing against Shego's lower lips, which were parted to give it a wet kiss of greeting.

"Baby oil," Shego begged. "Put it on my back, let it run down my ass. I'm still sore, you've got to take it easy this morning."

After finally getting dressed Shego complained, "God, Kim, we'd better get you cured before you kill me with that thing."

"I'm sorry, but it's just like you said, it's a new toy and it has a mind all its own."

Fortunately the Nyannichuan was better marked than the spring Kim had fallen into last night. "This is it, Kim. Jump in and our problem is gone."

Kim caught Shego in her/his arms and leaned down to give her a lingering kiss. "This was fun while it lasted," Kim sighed.

"But I liked the original version better," Shego said and tripped Kim -- sending him splashing backwards into the Nyannichuan. Sputtering from the cold and swearing at Shego for catching her unawares the properly female Kim Possible emerged dripping from the water of the spring.

"Let me help you out, Princess," Shego offered, reaching for Kim.

Kim knocked her hand away. "Leave me alone," she grumbled.

"So I take it you won't accept an offer for us to go back to the guest house and let me towel you off in your present form?"

"No way, Shego. I'm me again. I'm not interested. I'm grumpy from lack of sleep. Please, can you just take me home now?"

"If that's what you want," Shego sighed. "But I'm just as tired as you -- and it was your idea to lose the sleep. And on top of that you probably left me too sore to piss."

"That's all Little Kim's fault."

"Yeah, you just tell yourself that."


	3. Chapter 3  In Trouble

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

**Chapter 3 - In Trouble**

Shego didn't trust the autopilot fully, and stayed awake for the entire flight back to the US. The tiny green and black jet didn't allow Kim room to stretch out, but she curled up as best she could and slept for most of the trip.

Shego set down so softly at the Middleton airport that Kim didn't wake up. Shego painfully crawled out and stretched on the tarmac. She couldn't remember ever being as sore after a session of lovemaking. Kim had not joined her outside and Shego went back into the plane. Kim was still asleep. Shego gently kissed the girl on the top of her head, then grabbed her arm and shook her firmly. "Wakey-wakey! All ashore that's going ashore."

"Ten more minutes, please Mom."

"If you do to your Mom what you did to me you are really sick."

Kim's eyes snapped open. Shego leered at her. "I want to leave you with one last thought, Princess. I lied to you. I know the springs just change your outer form. They can't change who you are inside. You can't go in liking boys, and come out liking girls because you're wearing a different body -- any more than changing from one set of clothes to another changes your sexual orientation. You fucked me because you wanted to fuck me. I just gave you an excuse. I told you it would be okay because you were thinking differently. But you weren't thinking any differently than you're thinking right now -- and you knew that. You just let your guard down and were honest with your own feelings in a way you've never been before."

"That's not true."

"No? You know damn well it is true. The thing that scares you right now is that I know it too. You were happy to screw poor stupid Shego, who would just chalk it up to a personality change. She can't be too bright if she works for Drakken. But I knew the truth."

"Then why, Shego? Why did you let me make love to you? Do you love me?"

"Love you? You were just a little bit of fun. I got to be the first person in cheerleader Kim Popsicle's panties. Do you know how many boys at your school would have given their right nut for that honor? Oh, maybe not in the way I got you. But I was your first. You take your first experience with you for the rest of your life. Every time you remember it -- every time you dream about it -- every time you're with someone who asks you about your first time I'm going to be there in your mind. My eyes will be looking into yours as you remember calling my name and moaning as you came inside me."

"You used me!" Kim gasped.

"Damn straight. And you loved every minute of it. But it was you who woke me up at two in the morning for sex. It was you who started playing with my ass while I was brushing my teeth. You were begging me for another quickie before I pushed you into the spring and you lost your excuse. God, I don't know if you were trying to fuck me raw, but you'd have killed me with kindness if you'd had that thing any longer. But that wasn't the prick talking, that was you wanting sex with me. You're a tiger, Kim. And it's never going to be the same when we fight. You'll look at me -- and you can't deny you want me any more. But you can't have me again. I'm forbidden fruit. And seeing me, knowing you want me, knowing that I know you want me will just make you lust for me all the more. You were a great roll in the hay, Possible. But that's all you were for me -- a great lay."

Shego released Kim's arm and the teenager left the jet looking hurt. Shego watched her walk slowly towards the terminal, her shoulders stooped in dejection. Then Shego doubled over and began to cry.

Shego refueled and had a bite to eat before returning to Drakken's Lair. "You're back early," he called. "How was training?"

"Shut up."

"Someone flew in on the wrong side of the joy stick this morning." Shego's hands began to glow with green flame. "I'm sorry for whatever I said!"

"I guess it's not your fault, Dr. D. I'm just going to go to my quarters and mope for the rest of my time off."

"Is there anything I can get for you," he asked with real compassion.

"Could you get me some chocolate chip ice cream, please? And a bottle of cranberry juice." She thought of adding,_ "And an ice pack for my crotch,"_ but left that unspoken.

"I'll take the hovercraft in myself," he promised.

---

"Drew?" Dr. Drakken nodded stiffly to the man behind him in the express checkout line -- what was he thinking when he left the Lair without carrying a portable death ray?

"Yes, James. What brings you to the grocery store?"

"Kimmie-cub was feeling a little down and asked me to pick some chocolate chip ice cream up for her."

"Shego is feeling a little under the weather as well. I hope it isn't contagious."

"Is the cranberry juice for her?"

"Yes, why?"

"Oh, never mind. I'm just thinking about why my wife sometimes asks me to pick it up."

---

Several weeks passed with no obvious world domination plans from Dr. Drakken. Kim steeled herself with the fury of a woman scorned. There would be a domination plan, and she would see Shego again. She would beat Shego unconscious the next time the two fought. Shego's face, distorted with passion as the two made love, would not be in Kim's mind, only that evil leering smile as she said goodbye.

But Kim's next contact with Shego did not take place while stopping Drakken's plans.

"Kim, phone call for you."

"Thanks Mom, I'll take it in here."

"Hello, Kim," the voice on the other end whispered. "Please let me talk with you."

Kim hung up. Five minutes later the phone rang again, "Please, Kim--" Kim hung up. Five minutes later the phone rang again. "Don't--" Kim hung up.

"What is going on, Kimberly Ann?"

"It's a crank call from Shego. I don't want to talk with her."

"Then let me answer next time."

"Thanks Mom. Don't listen to her. All she does is lie."

"Hello?"

"Hello, Could I please talk with--"

"Is this Shego?"

"Yes. Could I please --"

"Kim has said she doesn't want to talk with you."

"But this is important. I really need --"

"Kim has said she doesn't want to talk to you. I will be watching the caller ID and every time your number appears I'll be hanging up without listening to a word you say. Do you understand?"

"Yes, but --"

"No buts. It's enough you understand. Don't call back."

And hour later the doorbell rang. Shego seemed smaller as she stood on the front step. She wasn't in uniform and her eyes had a slightly haunted look with dark lines underneath them.

"Five minutes," she pleaded. "Just give me five minutes."

Kim said nothing, but led her enemy back to the den and closed the door. She pointed Shego to one chair and sat down in the other. Then Kim looked at her watch very deliberately, telling Shego with her actions that the timer had started.

"Say something, Kim. Please."

"Why did you lie to me, Shego?"

"Seems like I wasn't the only one lying."

"What do you mean?"

"When you came up from the spring… I reached out for you. You could have reached for me. You could have said you wanted me. You treated me like something unclean. Now that you were, quote back to normal, you couldn't be bothered by the woman you were trying to grope a minute earlier."

"I… I just got a little crazy over there. That was all. I didn't know how to handle what had happened to me."

"I'm not sure how to handle what happened to me either," Shego whispered.

"What happened to you?"

"Oh, first the Nannichuan left you able to generate real sperm. Second, my memory of my own cycle wasn't all that good. And Jusenkyo magic seems to trump comet magic. Morning sickness is a bitch."

"You're saying…"

"Shego took a sealed sandwich-sized bag from her purse and tossed it to Kim. Kim tried to figure out what she was looking at inside. "There's a positive reading on that," Shego informed her. "The other six were all positive too. In about seven months or so you're going to be a daddy."

Kim was stunned, "I'm going to be a father? What the hell am I gonna do?"

"I'm more interested in what in the hell I'm going to do?"

"What makes you sure I'm going to be the father."

"You're the only person I've slept with in almost two years. I don't get to meet a lot of attractive singles in my line of work."

"Shego, I don't believe you. You've lied to me too often. This is just another effort to screw with my head. I'm not falling for your lies any more."

"Maybe I deserve that. But I'm telling you the truth this time. I don't know what I'm going to do. But after China I just couldn't go away without seeing you one last time."

"What do you mean, go away?"

"Gee, and I thought you were an honor student and understood English. I need some space. I don't know what I'm going to do. Maybe I'm going to end this pregnancy. Maybe I'll put the kid up for adoption. Maybe I'll retire and raise the little brat. Maybe I'll put a gun to my head and blow my brains out. I'm not thinking very clearly at the moment, okay? I've left Drakken. I plan to travel for a little while -- let my head clear. Maybe… I don't know. I'm in no shape to think right now."

"But you had to see me first?"

"Yeah. First, I thought you'd get a chuckle out of this. How many heroines can say they knocked up their worst enemy? Second… One last lie to confess and I'll be going. I lied when I said I let you make love to me just to spite you. I love you, Kim. I don't know why. We've never done anything but fight. It must confuse you as much as it confuses me. But… "

The dark-haired woman expected the redhead to say something, anything -- but she remained silent -- glancing down at her watch to check how much time was left.

Shego realized she was babbling and finished her speech in a rush. "So, that's it." She said softly. "I just had to see you one last time. You get the last laugh. Bye." She rose from her chair and let herself out the door, closing it behind her with a silence born of long practice.

--- The End ---


End file.
